I fell more then once.

Love...I think it is just an over whelming feeling of all ur emotions that you get when you are overly attached and attracted to somebody.
Someone who you can spend your emotions with, adventures, stories and maybe even your life with.
I dont believe love only happens once in your life. Because to me love is everywhere. Just the intensity is different. I love my cat i love my family, i love my friends, i mean I love so many things and so many people. How can i only fall in love once?

The Silence

I sit in the middle of my room floor staring at the ceiling. I feel numb yet a rush of heat travels through my vain. I feel as though I am one with the ground and slowly sinking beneath my carpet floor. A breeze of cold air blows against my body and gives me goosebumps. I curl up into a ball and roll side ways to hold my knees against my chest. Warm tears roll down my eyes and over my nose. Heart is now racing faster then a speeding train. I close my eyes as memories flash through my eye lids and haunt me like a horror movie. I try to blank out my thoughts and concentrate on the texture of my carpet by feeling the rough bumps and making shapes with my fingers. The blockage didn't last for long until i started thinking about my present and how miserable my life has become. I try to look at the positive things but the darkness fills my mind with misery. Tears continue to drop down and I don't bother to wipe them. Cold chills go down my body and I start to wonder if i am still alive....
To be continued..

I gota get my self together cuz i got some place to go and im prayin when i get there i see everyone i know. I wana go to heaven!

This blog is my vent page sometimes, so let me vent.

So i find that there are always people that hate me. And it took me 21 years to realize this. How pathetic! I have had many friends in life and they all had something in common. Jealousy! I never thought I was this awsome until they pointed it out. At first i was upset at the fact they said awful things to me. Then i realized I have always been there for everyone, to the point i put my self down many times. I have been told i steal the spot light, that i am always right and want people to be wrong, etc. But its not true. and i think im tired of explaining my self....i wont do it anymore. i dont need to prove to anyone any more of who i am. I have come to the conclusion friends are just enemies who have not attacked yet. I am religious and i believe god is my only companion in life. He is with me at all times. Listens to me and tells me the right thing to do. He is definitely all i need. as for my many remaining friends. Wad up! I need to stick with my #1 rule trust nobody. I sometimes forget that or dont listen to that rule because people tell me sometimes you have to trust. BUT why shud i listen to those who hurt me? so clearly i am so upset that i am talking very negative and blabbing about shit that doesnt make sense or i dont mean. But this is what happens when you are upset. i am going to go hug my mom now! Good DAY!

Get Real

Look at us, everything is backwards; everything is upside down. Doctors destroy health, lawyers destroy justice, universities destroy knowledge, governments destroy freedom, the major media destroy information, and religions destroy spirituality"

Open your eyes & ears, Not everything you see and hear, is what it is. 1 God, 1 Truth, 1 Life and billions of you. So every1 Look inside ur heart mind and soul and do atleast 1 good deed a day. Results and Reward will be Infront of you. Believe in your self, Trust in your decisions, and Control your actions.

Nuit Blanche

So Last night I went to see the famous festival Nuit Blanche in downtown Toronto. As excited as i was to see the amazing art being displayed all around downtown i was as disappointed in seeing how boring and non artistic the whole town was. There were at least a half a million people just walking around smoking weed and causing noise. I was searching for art, and the closest i got was a giant clown balloon stuck in between two buildings...Wow...isnt that interesting. oh yes and an Asian dude singing Oprah in a language i cant recognize and i know at least 6 languages. How sad!

Never the less, I had the most amazing night with my best friend Adi. I expected Nuit Blanche to be the highlight of my night. Guess not. As Adi and I walked downtown we couldn't help but notice the people around us and how amusing it was to watch people put on a character. we saw a booth for virgin mobile and a swarm of people standing around it listening to the radio and people putting on a street dance. Then we saw many music bands playing music and so i started to do old Irish dance moves while Adi stood beside me in embarrassment. hehehe Later we walked by a strip club. Never have i ever stepped my foot into one of those before. As a jk he said wana go? I looked at him and said...wana? It has always been a curiosity and a trip thats on my list of things to do in life. So we decided to go inside. It was mad akward and weird as we noticed old people watching naked girls dance. So we had a little laugh and walked back out and carried on with our adventurous night.

We got hungry around 12am so he decided to treat us with FUNNEL CAKE!!! they were making them fresh on the street so we lined up for 20 mins just to eat funnel cake! i have to say, it was the most amazing funnel cake i have ever had. It was freezing outside and we were walking for hours. My feet started to hurt and we were both sleepy as hell! so we decided to head home. By the time we made it half way, I ALMOST FELL asleep and i wasn't sure how i was going to drive home alone. So he decided to buy me red bull. WHICH totally worked and kept me up the rest of the way. When i got home not only couldn't i sleep. i had a stomach ache, It was prolly from that amazing funnel cake but i refuse to believe it was.

Over all the disappointing night turned into a fun and adventurous night with my best friend! And i would do it all over again :)

I know you are there, Somewhere.

If the 'Mosque' Isn't Built, This Is No Longer America | MichaelMoore.com

Michael Moore's Letter To the Controversy over Building a Peace center on ground zero.
An amazing letter. I agree with him fully word for word. He is a true speaker.
Read his letter, the link is below.

If the 'Mosque' Isn't Built, This Is No Longer America | MichaelMoore.com

What I Couldn't Tell him...

You and me
We used to be together
Everyday together always
I really feel
That I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe
This could be the end
It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real
Well I don't want to know

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts

Our memories
Well, they can be inviting
But some are altogether
Mighty frightening
As we die, both you and I
With my head in my hands
I sit and cry

It's all ending
I gotta stop pretending who we are...
You and me I can see us dying...are we?

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't tell me cause it hurts!
I know what you're saying
So please stop explaining

Don't Speak- No Doubt

Regaining My Self

Its been a long day but a good day.
I spent most of my day in deep thoughts but my energy and time went towards my work. Graphic work. Finally I am getting a little better with my health and regaining the confidence that I can start working soon. I am so pleased with the fact I finally have been getting positive thoughts and been motivating my self every chance i get. It was not very easy to do that while i was in major depression. My travels to the hospital has been decreasing, which is Fantastic! I now spent maybe 2 to 3 days MAX at the hospital! I am so proud! So now I get plenty of time to work on things that i like to do. I wont jump right into work i suppose. But i will definitely start little by little. Doctors advice i still take full rest and do work in small amounts. Anyway Small amounts is never good enough for me so lets see what i can do in the days coming up =)! It is with all the blessing from my friends and family that i get all the support and be TAZ again. Hurray for me! hehehe anyway this blog is not for me to advertise my work or anything for those of you who think it is. Its just a blog where i might showcase some of my pieces here and there but mostly just me talking, or telling you something exciting that i did or saw :)
Im off to bed for now.

Ciao Amigo

The Cobra Shoot

The Cobra shoot

So guess who i saw?

Yeah I saw Adriana Lima!!!! i waited hours before i got to actually meet this angel! MY LIFE will never be the same!! I LOVE HERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR she is my idol !! she is so gorgeous in real life its unbelievable!

Y

Drake- What if i kissed you

OK so i am in love with this song


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oEdb7dEfT_w&feature=player_embedded#!

And Islam is PERFECT. Muslims are NOT. Nor are ANY humans or their ideas or institutions or politics. Perfection is a quality of God alone. - Lupe & You know

PET PEEVES

Okay....so lately I have been a little distracted. I have not really been my self lately and it is definitely not pleasant. Sooooo i feel like taking out some of the anger built inside my brain and blurring out some pet peeves that I absolutely cannot stand.

1. People with long nails and dirt inside it...Yeeekk!!
2. Snoring
3. body Oder
4. people with oily hair because they never wash it! omg...
5. girls putting hair behind their ears but leaving a little piece out!!
6. Ashy skin
7. YELLOW teeth!!
8. fat people cleavage
9. Dirty Bathroom
10. People that get in a A and B conversation to fit in.

Well for now ill keep it 10, i have a billion more. BUT i dont wana sound like im too anal ! But truly People Should Stay away from that list!

Break Free

IF YOU NEVER COME OUT OF YOUR SHELL, YOU WON'T KNOW WHATS OUT THERE

Blind

" You are only blind until you don't see the light
but if some1 shows u the light and your still dark
then u were blind from the start " - 2-fanTAZtic

Boyz

"I remember Kyle he thought i was too wild
he said we need a break, still kept me on his speed dial
Then came along jay, he always had a say
tryna keep me on a string, wanted everything his way
brian, ryan, alex, TJ, colour them different but they work all the same way.
So now i speed date, tryna keep it on the go, before i no its too late" - 2-fanTAZtic

What a day.....

so i lost chunks of skin in both my middle fingers while cutting onions today, later during the day i lifted my pants to check up on my 5 mosquito bites, saw my entire leg swell and bruised, now i have purple blood clot looking shit all over my legs as if i fell off 25th floor. What i learned today, knives wants a piec...e of me and im allergic to mosquitos, who wud have thought...hmmm. fml

My brain is a strange organ...the more I exist the more I question

How do u know ur beliefs r real? Do u lead ur own life or is it a repetition of wat generations have been doing 2 survive 4 billions of years. Do we control our own mind or is it controlled by other forces. How do u question if u don't kno if that question exist in reality, what is reality, is ther one? what wud happen if u followed your subconscious mind? Wud it change who u r? how do we even kno who we really r if we cant read our entire mind and thought clearly?

The Paradox of Our Time in History- George Carlin

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but
shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more,
but have less; we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and
smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees
but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more
problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little,
drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too
little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our
possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and
hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to
life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but
have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer
space but not inner space.

We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air,
but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice.

We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less.

We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold
more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less
and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small
character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of
two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes.

These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one
night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer,
to quiet, to kill.

It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the
stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time
when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going
to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to
you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your
side.

Remember to give a warm hug to the one next to you because that is the only
treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent. Remember,
to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all
mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep
inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday
that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak
and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

Great Respect Comes From Great Achievements. (One of my idols Muhammad Ali )

2am, still searching for sleep

2 am and i am still up. Just watched an amazing movie which got my brain still spinning and wondering many things. I was reminded of my best friend who had passed away last November 2009. Sometimes its so hard to sleep in the memories of his last days at the hospital. I look for things to distract my self. So i come across the great world of youtube. I watch random videos for 2-3 hours until my eyes get tired and i can no longer sit on my spinning computer chair. Most of my day today i spent sleeping, i was not feeling to well from the morning. So now im having even a harder time falling asleep. I have class at 9am which means i have to wake up at 7. urghhhh must i remind you, i am not an early riser, nor am i a lovely person at that time.

1 o' clock monday morning

So...i couldn't sleep and decided to open a blog.
Lately a lot has been going on with my life and thought I should share some thoughts.
So cheers to my first Post :) and to a new beginning for blogging.